Awkward in Friendship

In a devotional called Coffee Moms devotional: a rich blend of 30 Brief and inspiring devotions, I happened to get stuck in thought on a chapter talking about friendships. She states :

Women need friends, Good friends. We need other women in our life who encourage us, understand us and support us. And we must fight for these friendships

Now at the end of the devotional, like any others, they ask questions and this is where I got stuck on question one.

1. Who are your BEST friends?

Now it had a part two to that but I want to concentrate on this for a moment……

I have never been good at making friends, not that I’m not capable just that I’m awkward at it. Through out my Elementary school, Jr. High, and High School years I was never good at it. Everyone else had friends but I was the one who tried “too hard” to “fit in”. Two sets of words I dread dearly!

I ended up with the unpopular crowd of misfits, goths, nerds, and whatever names go with the labels pinned to stereotypes. I found solitude in a good friend of mine, until we stopped talking after the years ended (over situations past and unknown) I have tried talking but no answer which was leaving me alone once again. Which come to terms with that situation and we are fine now. I know people and said hi, and they knew me so it isn’t a total ghost situation. I appreciate them because they at least keep me company when I need a chat.

I do long for the friendships I see around me. Where play dates happen, coffee times, and Facebook pictures of “look at me and my bff hanging out” or “hanging with the BFF!” When I attempt to ask someone I know to have that time with me all I get are excuses; let’s do this soon, I’ve made plans, or no response. I try desperately to make friends but it doesn’t work out. The harder I try, the “too hard” set of mind frame happens and the more it fails. As a busy adult I understand why at least to a point, so I grasp work life, and mom life plays a big part in it. I get life happens and people get busy.

So back to who are your BEST friends? I have no clue, I have acquaintances but not friends, I have acquaintances to text but no friends to escape to for a coffee day! So how do I honestly answer this question laid before me, how do I fathom a response. Well I can’t! See I have learned from all of this, that God has been there. He is my friend when no one else gives a second chance, when no one reaches out to find me and ask for a coffee day or play date!

He is my play date, for I am his child and I play with my children, for when I have coffee time at nap time; he is with me as I do my devotional.

Now for that second part I was talking about it….

How have they blessed and encouraged you and what kind of friend are you to them?

Well how has God blessed me? Since we established he is my only friend, he gave me a family and a husband to love. He gave me a mother to lean on when I need help, he gave me awesome grandparents who are there for me, so over all a wonderful family that sticks together through angry words and disagreeing ocean waves. He encourages me to push deeper into faith and allow actual friendships to happen. Now how I have treated him? Not so well in the past but now looking to the better for us, I am treating him the best I can!

With all this said now that I am older and understand friendship more I get why we lose contact, I get life happens! I know though that true friendships are possible. I have seen them just never felt them. I long for the woman friendship that the author was talking about. We do need other women to talk to and be with or we go stir crazy.

Here is a little encouragement for those who feel alone, or lost, or don’t have friends that are real. God is our friend and he is real, he will bring people into our lives to learn from and to teach them! He brings them into our lives to show us things. So don’t freight because he will bring you a friend you just have to wait for them!


4 thoughts on “Awkward in Friendship

  1. As an Army wife, you have to get over feeling awkward about making new friends real fast! The sad part is you have to get good at saying goodbye, too! Having good friends IRL you can hang out with is so important! My friends are scattered all around the world (literally) and I have very few that have known me for my whole life, or even my kids’ whole lives. It would be nice to have that kind of history… Beautiful post! Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate, but a little differently. I used to be good at making friends, especially with the new kids, but now I feel like I am the one on the sidelines. Thank you for the reminder that God is a friend to believers in Him, and He is our best friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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