My Dull Testimony

The number one question a christian gets, especially and new christian, is What is your story? More specifically What is your testimony, How did you come to Christ?

Well there are many different answer. Most have some really big dramatic, traumatic, or life altering answer. Stories like;

When my husband almost died I didn’t know where to turn to so I prayed for the first time and he pulled through God answered me….

I was living on the streets and God helped me turn my life around….

I died and met Jesus, it was amazing….

Now there isn’t anything wrong with any of those, those are amazing and tear jerking if anyone has been through those stated above I applaud you for having to go through that. With me you don’t need a Kleenex or to worry about ruining your make-up.

However my story, testimony, whatever you want to call it doesn’t feel as miraculous as everyone elses. I often feel like maybe I’m not doing it right or I’m missing something and I didn’t experience my true testimony yet.

I was born in a normal family, as normal is just a statement. My mom was a single mother and we lived with my grandparents. I grew up in a typical Christian house, we went to church and contributed our tithing like most Christians would. We prayed at each meal, so on and so forth, nothing dramatic about that right.

Well skip a few years, in school I hung with the wrong crowd, made a few good friends and bad ones. At the end of freshmen year of high school and beginning year of sophomore, I ended up pregnant at 15. I questioned faith because I didn’t look for it or live by it however I still had a morals and beliefs of a christian, I considered myself spiritual. I often said;

I know there is God and the Devil but the in between isn’t all true. The bible was written by man and translated by man so how much of it was twisted to manipulate and sway mankind! How much did we translate wrong or what have we left out

Needless to say I don’t think that way anymore, so as a whole, I don’t think I ever found faith because I never totally lost it. After I gave birth I was a wandering soul, I didn’t want to go to church and didn’t want anything to do with anyone. I soon ended up in bad relationships one right after the other. The worst of all of this was that my sons biological father made me feel ashamed and unloved. I felt the worse of myself and I ended up in a relationship that mimicked it. I was with a controlling self-absorbed man who abused me and cheated on me and lied to me. I soon left him after one abusive night.

I then met my husband, finally there was a light at the end of my tunnel and I married him, had more kids with him. I attended church again for the first time in years at that point but I still didn’t call it home. I felt out-of-place so I moved to a different church which I now attend. Nothing dramatic, life altering, or traumatic right?  Wrong I had many dramatic and traumatic things happen to me since the age of 15 but I never looked at it as a piece of stone in a path that would soon be my testimony. I will say that I never had that Eureka moment like most if not all Christians, so I often feel something missing or incomplete as if I’m doing faith wrong as I stated before.

As if I haven’t truly experienced that ah ha moment, like a friend of mine lost everything and God gave her that “light bulb going off” moment.

Part of a testimony you should state how you came to Christ , how his grace saved you, and what he did to save you.

Well let me answer with I didn’t come to Christ because I never left him just hid a little and strayed off the beaten path, God’s grace saved me by just putting me back on the right path. He used my trials and emotions to save me, he had me suffer to realize that I did need him. I suffered for to long without help, I realized I wasn’t meant to fight on my own. As generic as that sounds.

My testimony isn’t all that great and is dull a bit, so when I get asked that question I freeze as if I’m in this blank stare and I don’t always know how to respond. Now don’t get me wrong God has done wonders in my life that I can’t explain and am grateful for. Like giving me children and having a family and a husband that actually love me and treat me as I am supposed to be treated (which is a story for another time), and keeping my mother alive.

When I get asked my testimony I often say that I just strayed off the path and God’s grace saved me and brought me back. I am not a perfect Christian and I certainly don’t do good all the time. If I were perfect I would be like Jesus and I am not him, I CAN however live as close to what he wants me to. No one is perfect like him, and no one saves like him. So don’t give up for he is there! He is waiting for you to say I am ready for you!

What’s your story? I would love to hear your testimonies and how you came to!



One thought on “My Dull Testimony

  1. Thanks for that.

    There are no dull testimonies, they are the stories of people who love God and respond to God’s love for them.

    God loves us as we are, not how others would like us to be, and I admire your honesty. Keep it up.


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