Everyone has their own style of parenting, as much as I hate to use the word style, it’s true! Every single one of us, mom or dad, parent in different ways! No one should tell you how you should parent your child because 99.9% of the time most of us know how to parent. Finding your own way is hard, not only because of society either beating you up for the way you do it but also praising you in that same choice. Double standards of society right? Sometimes it’s hard and especially for new mom’s and dad’s because of the ridicule we face for either doing it wrong or not getting it right. There is so much pressure to be the perfect parent, which today I want you to take that pressure and throw it away!
I have three pieces of advice to parenthood I have found useful. These are things I’ve come across that I found easy to do, if you don’t agree that’s ok. If you do well then I’m glad that helped.
Don’t worry about what others think
As easy as that sounds it’s not, trust me, I still have my days where I worry what others might think of my parenting ways. In today’s world everyone in some point in time looks to the internet and social media for advice, tips, hacks, or comfort for parenting.
Let me tell ya don’t ask if you’re doing it right or double guess yourself because chances are you are doing it right. Unless your abusing your child in any way you are by no means parenting wrong. There are things to do and not to do with children but most of it is common sense.
Don’t worry about what others think when disciplining in public or don’t worry about having a break down in the middle of the store! Many times I’ve seen (I’ve done it too) mom’s and dad’s take to social media and ask if they are doing it right, or does this look ok. Who cares!
Example, in my house we believe in spanking when appropriate, not full force to leave any mark but enough to show wrong doing and punish. I grew up getting spanked the same way and I’m not damaged or mentally disturbed like most think because of research! Let me tell you my opinion about research, you can take it with a grain of salt or ignore this part, people can research all they want but when it comes to MY child I WILL discipline how I want when I want within reason.
Because of my beliefs most don’t agree with me, I’ve gotten comments like that’s abuse you should be ashamed of yourself to that’s child endangerment. IF you don’t agree that is 100% ok, I wont tell you how to parent if you don’t tell me how to.
For a while I listened to those daunting thoughts and realized that’s their opinion, sure there are probably different and more ways to punish, but how we do it works because my children and respectable and know what not to do and what to do.
Don’t be their friend
I’ve seen many times parents try to be their children’s friend, as much as that is a sweet and innocent thing, it’s not. They need a role model, an enforcer, and for you to be their parent! With that being said that doesn’t mean you can’t be loving and kind, there is a difference. You can be compassionate about what your child is going through but don’t let it slide. You can be friends after they grow up and learn. You can give them boundaries but still have that bond of friendship. Being their friend means giving them everything they want.
My Mother and I are best of friends but what came first was her authority over me. When I got in trouble for whatever the reason her authority came first, she grounded me or did whatever was necessary to teach me a lesson that need to be learned, not once did she let me slide because she would rather me like her than to learn the lesson.
Poor example but in Mean Girls Regina George’s Mother was worried about her daughter liking her than showing discipline. Her daughter then was able to control her. That’s not how parenting works. Regina George didn’t have discipline and look how she turned out, NOT SAYING that all kids will turn our that way but it comes close.
I like to think I am a friend to my child and I am, but first and foremost I am their mother. I am here to guide them, teach them, show them, and help them grow. I still play, laugh, smile, joke, and prank with them like friends do to each other but at the end of the day my authority is what needs to stand.
You are Amazing
Above all else remember that you are amazing! Whatever your going through; divorce, single mother or father, low money situations, no self-worth, abused, or just trying to survive the day. You are a good parent and you’re doing the best you can to get through the day, weeks, months, or years!
No matter how you parent; if you’re all natural, working, staying at home, protective, or a hot mess! You are an amazing mom or dad. Don’t let society tear you down to thinking you’re doing it wrong, we need to stop judging people on how and what they are doing and start encouraging. Let God judge you not mankind.
Being a good parent is in the eye of the beholder and only you can determine that, well you and God.